My 93 year old mother in law, who has always been a free-spirited and independent woman, has found herself isolated, lonely and depressed. She had lived in a large country home for over 25 years, and about 15 years after her husband passed away, she moved into an independent living community. She enjoyed 3 plus years there, and made a new life for herself. As the years passed, she started worrying about running out of money. What followed was a stressful time for her and us. She moved into an apartment, and found she was lonely and isolated. We then moved her into our summer home, where my husband works out of year round. Again, she felt isolated since he couldn't spend much time with her and I work full time and our twins are teenagers, enough said. She then decided to move back to her old stomping ground in upstate NY. Within 3 weeks, she called crying she couldn't live alone anymore.
We have since figured out an assisted living community for her that she can afford and be happy and well cared for.
I don't want other families to go through this. Not only because of the stress on us, but on my mother in law. No one at age 93 should be faced with such stress, isolation and financial worry. Have a conversation with your loved ones, make plans early, budget carefully and have realistic expectations of what each family member can/should/will do. Only children have it hardest most times, but even those with multiple siblings, usually one or two are left making the tough decisions. I have lived this both personally and professionally.
My advice, have a plan. If you need help creating a plan that all members will be comfortable with, please reach out to me.